Doomer? Weirdo? Snowflake?
the crises are making us unwell
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I recently came across the tiktok account of someone that goes by ‘pondscum on spotify’. In the video dated May 23, 2024, she says that her parents are about to take her to the mental hospital. As she tears up, she says:
I just can’t operate in this economy with billionaires… There’s nowhere for us to go anymore. And there’s no way for us to be listened to. So I have to go. I have to go talk to that psychiatrist again.
I immediately went to her page and devoured her other videos. She makes connections between animism as a solution to our ecological crisis, how work is making us sick, and how a lot of mental illness is symptomatic of our individualist societal structures. Most of all, she points out how ridiculous it is that we’re carrying on as normal in spite of all the crises around us.
The comments really touched a nerve in me (ah.. the good ol’ comments section…)
The vast majority express understanding and agreement:
It’s like you’re the living, breathing personification of my thoughts. It’s refreshing to know I’m not alone, but also makes me so sad. My mask is slipping too…
and
sitting in a corporate cubicle feeling like a zombie listening to this and it is so real. you make total sense
Some comments are negative:
Jesus fucking Christ you people are nuts
and
don’t post ur existential crisis all over the internet.
Now, I’m definitely with the first group. I think pondscum understands the urgency of the situation and is expressing it authentically. I felt comforted to see so many other people in the comments section saying that they relate as well.
Still, most of us who do relate aren’t expressing ourselves so openly because we’re afraid of being brushed off as a “doomer” or a “crazed conspiracy theorist”. There are even times when I start to gaslight myself.
Am I becoming an eccentric who spends too much time in internet spaces and becomes out-of-touch with reality?
But then I remind myself, the climate science is clear. The wealth gap in the US and worldwide is horrifying. There’s a lot of stuff to be worried about. (No need to click on these links if you already know! They’re just here in case anyone skeptical or not-yet-informed finds themselves here)
So, obviously, it’s natural to feel this way. But none of us are acting like it’s real, because it’s not appropriate to act like we’re in a crisis. Instead, we must maintain decorum - even if it drives us to ill health.
At the end of the tiktok, pondscum professes, I’m sorry for what I said, but I can’t work anymore
Ugh. SAME. I’ve been in no hurry to return to work since I came back to the US this summer. A big part of me sees no point in working when our planet is burning and billionaires are buying out everything and siphoning away the profit. Even working in humanitarian aid, the sector I’m trained for, feels like it's just a band-aid, still playing into the same systems of power between the Global North and Global South.
So. Personal conversations and social media tell me that a lot of us are feeling the crisis closing in on us, but we are afraid to act. There is strength in numbers though and I hope this blog can empower others to be a bit louder too.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a better planet for everyone.
There is nothing wrong with grieving the world we’re losing.